Tag Archive | design humor

This Couch is Stalking Me!

It’s true. I surf for sofas. I know exactly what I want…. and so does my phone. Let this be a warning to you.

Even if I lost my brain, my phone might serve as a decent substitute.

The couch I have zeroed in on pops up in my fitness app. (I know, you’re shocked I use a fitness app. Don’t worry, this is how I communicate with my mother.) That gorgeous sofa is the first thing I see when I log my coffee calories every morning, right under the person SLEEPING on the fitness app. Seriously, how do they know?

My Fitness Pal!

My Fitness Pal!

Who knew that an incognito browser was now required for online shopping, among other things? If you want your heart’s desires to be constantly flaunted, but still unattainable because you can’t afford them, then please continue browsing for stuff online while sipping your coffee. It’s fun, and will drive you to delete your Facebook app, once and for all.

This is it! Again!

What would happen if I actually bought that couch? (Or TWO because I want a matching pair to satisfy my increasing desire for order through symmetry.) I never should have searched “How to clean velvet.” For that matter, I should never search how to clean anything.

Would the ads stop? Would my phone leap out of my hands in a suicidal dive for the floor, taking my brain along with it? I wonder.

Cocoa on the couch

Cocoa on the couch opposite me and my coffee.

In the meantime I am sitting on my old couch, as comfy as Bilbo Baggins in his hobbit hole, still sipping my coffee.

Maybe it’s time for new pillows.

© Mariam d’Eustachio at Simply Turquoise 2019.

“Afternoon Delight”

On Day 2 of the Furlough/Shutdown/Political Clustermess that the United States government was inflicting on us all, Stuart embraced his status as temporarily unemployed. Think pajamas all day and “Anchorman” playing on continuous loop on the tele:

Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy

This was his favorite clip.

However, we did accomplish a few things around the house, but none of them so exciting as the day he spent on the roof. It was a beautiful day with blue skies and perfect weather. It would have been glorious if I was not so anxious he was going to plummet to his early demise below. I have always had an amazing imagination.

Stuart and the blue sky.

Stuart and the blue sky.

But he did not fall to his death. Instead he fixed the roof, damaged during Hurricane Sandy, and cleaned the gutters. Best of all, he removed an antenna that was attached to the roof.

An Eyesore that was seemingly impossible to remove. I hated this antenna. I think it was used to signal the aliens when they were trying to contact us back in the 1950’s, somewhere near Roswell.

The hideous antenna.

The hideous antenna.

It was a glorious day. It is amazing how satisfying removing something like this from the roof can be. We have removed them from three houses, so you may want to have a look outside and see if there is an old TV antenna attached to your roof. The trashmen hate us.

After.

After.

The antenna was attached over by the chimney and the house looks clean now. I love it! We also did four days of yard clean up, which is why the trash cans are hanging out in the front yard. The baby was very helpful through the whole furlough. We are all so glad it is over now and things are back to normal again.

© copyright 2013 Mariam d’Eustachio at Simply Turquoise.