This Couch is Stalking Me!

It’s true. I surf for sofas. I know exactly what I want…. and so does my phone. Let this be a warning to you.

Even if I lost my brain, my phone might serve as a decent substitute.

The couch I have zeroed in on pops up in my fitness app. (I know, you’re shocked I use a fitness app. Don’t worry, this is how I communicate with my mother.) That gorgeous sofa is the first thing I see when I log my coffee calories every morning, right under the person SLEEPING on the fitness app. Seriously, how do they know?

My Fitness Pal!

My Fitness Pal!

Who knew that an incognito browser was now required for online shopping, among other things? If you want your heart’s desires to be constantly flaunted, but still unattainable because you can’t afford them, then please continue browsing for stuff online while sipping your coffee. It’s fun, and will drive you to delete your Facebook app, once and for all.

This is it! Again!

What would happen if I actually bought that couch? (Or TWO because I want a matching pair to satisfy my increasing desire for order through symmetry.) I never should have searched “How to clean velvet.” For that matter, I should never search how to clean anything.

Would the ads stop? Would my phone leap out of my hands in a suicidal dive for the floor, taking my brain along with it? I wonder.

Cocoa on the couch

Cocoa on the couch opposite me and my coffee.

In the meantime I am sitting on my old couch, as comfy as Bilbo Baggins in his hobbit hole, still sipping my coffee.

Maybe it’s time for new pillows.

© Mariam d’Eustachio at Simply Turquoise 2019.

4 thoughts on “This Couch is Stalking Me!

    • Yes! The ottoman has been recovered in green velvet in an attempt to make the craving for new sofas go away….! I got that fabric from Forklift, which is a nice benefit of working there.

  1. Lol. Did you know my dad loves his old sofa so much he tried to reupholster them and they tried to to add support to where they were sagging and now the couches are not the same. On unsolicited advertisements…Jenny SAID something somewhere about medicinal marijuana is now receiving regular ads about it. 1984. I think I’m going to come sit on that cozy couch someday soon and have a glass of wine. With that snuggly dog too 😉

    • My sister-in-law once told me she had a lifetime warranty on her couch. I was like, who in the world would want one couch for life? They’re not husbands! My wine is waiting for you! And I DO have a new couch for my deck!

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